


Of Gods and Bitches

by GatedGardenHomes



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Gay, LGBT, M/M, mlm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27650359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GatedGardenHomes/pseuds/GatedGardenHomes
Summary: In the center of a random universe in paradox space, sits Skaian University. Yup, it's a college AU bitches. Strap in for geeky romance, awkward moments, and a shit ton of shenanigans. But beware, kind reader, life is not all fluff and rainbows. The clock is always ticking until it is gone.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Jade Harley/Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Sollux Captor/Aradia Megido
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. The grumpy ol' troll

**Author's Note:**

> Uh yeah hey gang. I tried to write a basic romance fluff story but you know me. I just had to make a huge ass serious/ dire plot. I do not know how often chapters will be posted, but i'll try my best to get them out roughly weekly. But like who cares anyways?

Skaia academy is one of the most prestigious universities in Paradox space. It is also the only university in Paradox space but that is besides the point. The school is known for training the strongest heroes and the smartest scholars. Or at least that’s what they say. If I am being honest, this school is for babies. If John fucking Egbert can get into this school, well anyone can. And the boy doesn’t study for shit. I can’t believe we are doing the same major, yet I have to work my ass off for my grades while Egbert over here just coasts by and parties every other week. I left the dorms and bought an apartment nearby just to get away from the brat, and somehow he is now my next door neighbor. Anyways, now that we got the intro out of the way, how about we get to the fucking point.

-

“WOO” shouted several voices next door as I slammed my head on my desk. 

“Shut uppppppp, for the love of all things that are holy,” I groaned. “Fucking Egbertttttttt, pleaseee shut upppppppppppp.” I looked up at my computer screen, trying to make sense of my pages and pages of notes.

“YEAHHH LET’S GO,” screamed another voice. I was practically pulling out my hair. Every time I would get back on track, another person would cheer. 

“I swear, one more time and I-”

“TEREZI THE GOAT.”

“That’s it!” I yelled in frustration, leaping out of my chair. I grabbed my infamous shades and looked down at my outfit. While sure, a Pinky Pie onesie is very ironic and funny, that doesn’t mean it isn’t embarrassing. “Ehh fuck it, who cares,” I reason as I put on my shades and head towards the door. I quickly opened it and slammed it behind me. I walked across the hall and started banging on John’s door. You might as well call me a Karen because I’m going to see the manager. It didn’t take long for the door to open.

“DIRK! You made it!” Squealed an excited John as he wrapped his arms around me. He wore a beige jumpsuit, wait, it’s just a fucking ghostbuster outfit with his name embroidered over the name tag. “Nice costume man!” 

“Uh, nice to see you too I guess? Let go of me, please.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” He said as he let go of me. 

“So what exactly is going on here?”

“Did you not read the invitation? Dirk, it’s a Halloween party.”

“It’s Halloween- err I mean, yeah I knew that,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. John giggled. 

“Yeah man? You gonna come in or what?”

“Nah dude, I’m just here to ask you to keep it down? I’m trying to study for the robotics test tomorrow.”

“Dirk, it’s Saturday.”

“It is??”

“Wow man, do you even know where you are?”

“Shut up Egbert. Just please keep the noise down,” I asked. A frown appeared on John’s face.

“Here I thought you were actually gonna come to one of my tournaments.”

“Tournament?”

“So you can’t read either? How are you even studying?”

“I’ll be honest man, I have no clue.”

“So are you coming in or not?”

“Ugh, you said it is Saturday, right?”

“Yes!”

“Ugh, just this one time, then you leave me alone. We good?”

“Yes yes!” cheered the heir as he opened the door wider for me. I walked in and was hit with the fresh scent of a cheap pumpkin spice air freshener. I walked further into the living room, to see a bunch of people sitting around the tv. Above the TV hung a familiar rainbow flag.

“So you finally show up to one of these,” teased one of the guys sitting on the couch. He wore a spiderman costume but instead of a mask, he just wore his shades.

“It’s nice to see you too, Dave,” I said as I rolled my eyes. 

“Oh, you two know each other? That’s so cool!” John exclaimed, with a glimmer of happiness in his eyes. 

“Oh yeah, to make a long story short, he’s my brother.” 

“Awesome!” John smiled. “Well this is Sollux, that’s Terezi, that’s Roxy, that’s Karkat, that’s Rose, you obviously know Dave, and that’s Aradia.” 

“Oh, hello everyone,” I said, sheepishly waving. This was not the plan.

“D1RK, DO YOU W4NN4 GO UP 4GA1NST TH3 CH4MP?” Terezi asked, handing me a controller. She was in her full Redglare getup. I took it, surprised to see a Switch Pro controller. 

“Uh sure, what are we playing?” 

“Are you blind as well, Dirk?” John laughed. I looked at the TV to see the loading screen for Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Suddenly everything made sense. The cheers, the tournament, the weirdos, etc. A wave of anxiety washed off my body as I was put at ease.

“Oh smash, your shit is wrecked,” I smirked as I sat down on the couch, next to Terezi, as John leaned on the couch. 

“WHY DOES THIS GRUMPY OLD TROLL GET TO FIGHT HER? I DESERVE REMATCH,” Karkat yelled. For someone wearing an Invader Zim costume, he was really acting the part.

“Kk, it is just a video game. But yes, Dirk is a grumpy old troll,” Rose chuckled. She wore her Hermoine Granger costume, the same one she has worn every single Halloween since middle school. 

“FUCKING HUMANS, YOU'RE ALL THE SAME!” He yelled, rolling his eyes. “JUST PLAY THE FUCKING GAME.”

“J33Z OK4Y, D1RK WHO 4R3 YOU P14Y1NG?”

“Lucina, who else would I choose?”

“D4MN, 1’11 JUST ST1CK TO S1MON B31MONT.’’

“Wait aren’t you blind? How do you even play?” I asked as Terezi laughed.

“YOU DON'T N33D 3Y3S TO PL4Y S1MON,” She giggled as the game started. 

“That’s the most fucking true thing I have ever heard,” I chuckled. I started off with the advantage since she hasn’t seen (or smelt? I really don’t understand how she is doing this) my play style. I was able to get an easy down air spike off the ledge, but she caught me off guard with her second stick (life). For my non-smashers reading this, Simon Belmont has a giant ass whip and a million projectiles. Approaching him is really hard, so the strat is to not let him breathe. But if you let up for a sec, he’ll trap you and make it impossible for you to get a hit in. Terezi was able to pull this off, stealing my next stock. We continued to trade stocks until the final one, where we were both at high percents. She started charging a forward smash as I ran in close, catching her with the counter.

“W41T! FUCKKKK,” she sighed when she realized what was going to happen. The forward smash connected into my counter, and like that, I won. 

“YEAH DIRK!” John cheered.

“Fiinally, ii thought no one woulld be abble to beat her,” congratulated Sollux. He was wearing his Dipper Pines costume, with holes in the hat for his horns. 

“Rematch?” I asked, turning to Terezi. She shook her head.

“N4H 1’11 13T SOM3ON3 31S3 PL4Y. YOUR3 GR34T MAN!”

“Thanks! You’re really good yourself. You almost had me there. I think you should try learning how to play Peach. With your skills you would be unstoppable.”

“TH4NKS M4N. JOHN, DO YOU W4NN4 PL4Y?” She asked, handing the controller to him. He looked to me, and then to her.

“Uh sure, yeah!” He nodded as she got off the couch, to make room for him. John smiled as he sat next to me. I could feel my cheeks flush red. Fuck why am I blushing? It’s so hot in here. 

“Who do you play, John?” I asked, pulling at my color.

“I mainly play Wii fit but since you’re Lucina, I’ll switch to Doctor Mario.”

“Booooooooo,” joked Dave.

“Shut up, Asshole,” John said, rolling his eyes.

“You really wanna go up against me?” I asked.

“Uh yeah, I have the controller in hand, bro. Let’s go,” He said eagerly. I won’t fully describe this game in detail, but let’s just say that Doctor Mario is a D tier character and Lucina is S.

“Well fuck, I tried,” John laughed.

“For a low-tier main, you’re really good man!” I complimented.

“Aww you’re so sweet,” John smiled, blushing slightly. 

“Now kiss,” Dave laughed. Both of her faces went a darker red.

“Shut up time bound!” I said, rolling my eyes.

“Said the heart bound.”

“I’m a prince, how many more times do we have to go over this?” 

“Wait, what is wr0ng with time b0unds?” Aradia spoke. Her idea for a costume was just her regular outfit with a Mario hat.

“Yall don't know when to quit, that's the matter with time bounds,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, who wants to play?” 

“I want a rematch against Soll,” Roxy admitted. Their costume was the dollar tree version of Luke Skywalker. They had money and shit to make it look cool, but they thought this would be funnier.

“You're on, llallonde,” Sollux laughed, cracking his knuckles. John and I got off the couch for the two of them. John started heading towards the kitchen as I followed him.

“Hey man, I just wanna say I’m sorry for earlier. This party has been a lot of fun,” I apologized.

“Aww, Dirk you’re so nice. I’m glad you enjoy it. Do you want something to drink? We have soda and cheap beer.”

“Beer? John you're not twenty one, how did you buy that?”

“Oh I know, but my roommate, Vriska, bought them for us,” as he spoke I could feel my heart sink into my stomach. 

“Oh, are yall together?” I asked.

“What? No? Well kinda? I honestly don’t know, but I’ll spare you the details.”

“Ah okay, we don’t have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I did notice your pride flag.”

“Haha yeah, can we please not talk about this?” He said looking up at me, I could see the hurt in his face. 

“Okay, I’ll step off,” I said, taking a step back.

“You’re good, it’s just kinda a lot right now.”

“I understand,” I nodded. “I’m probably not the best person to talk to here, but I’m here for you man. Anytime you need something, just cross the hall.”

“Thanks Dirk, it means a lot,” he smiled as he pulled out a beer, opening it with ease and taking a huge gulp.

“Well shit man, you really do know how to party,” I chuckled. 

“Want one?”

“Sureee,” I said as he tossed one to me. I had never been much of a drinker but one won’t hurt. I popped it open and took a small sip. Disgust spread across my face as John laughed. 

“Damn dude, have you never drank before?”

“Uh not really.”

“Yeah sounds about right,” John giggled. 

“Hey John,” Rose said as she walked over to us. “I have to go, Kanaya wants to go to a movie with me.”

‘Uh okay! Bye then! Have fun!”

“Bye Rose,” I waved.

“Bye striderrrr,” she chuckled as she walked to the front door. Damn seers. 

John and I went back to the group as they switched over to Mario Kart. One by one people started trickling out. Roxy was going to go meet their girlfriend at some restaurant, Dave and Karkat wanted to chill and go binge Netflix together (take from that as you will), Terezi was getting tired, while Aradia and Sollux had another party to go to. Soon enough it got down to just John and I. 

“Hey John, when is your roommate coming home?” I asked.. 

‘I don’t know, probably sometime tomorrow. She went out to play some game with her matesprit,” John answered, taking a sip of his third beer. He could see the confusion in my face.

“But I thought you two were…”

“Ohh no no. We are kismesis, or we were, or, I don’t know man! I said I didn’t want to talk about this!”

“Oh, I’m so sorry John. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Nah it’s fine, I get it. You’re lucky I’m drunk,” he laughed.

“Okay well, I’ll trust your judgment.”

…

…

….

“So tomorrow is really November first?”

“Oh my god Dirk, yes it is. For a prince you're not very attentive,” He laughed.

“Well for an heir, you’re not that dumb.”

“Haha, thanks! Say is there anything you want to play or watch?”

“Ehh nah, I’m fine with anything really.”

“Ghostbusters it is!” He giggled.

“Ugh okay, but after this, I’ll go.”

“Deal!” He nodded as he got up to put the movie on. I walked back over to the couch and took a seat. How did I even get here? How did I get so sidetracked? Wasn’t I just studying? Wasn’t I just about to pull a Karen? Yet here I am, about to watch Ghostbusters with John fucking Egbert. The movie started up well enough, John was just giddy and literally bouncing up and down. He stood quiet almost the entire movie. Even though he has seen this a 100 times, he laughed at every single joke. Some of which weren’t even jokes. I couldn’t help but to smile at him. Soon enough the movie came to a close.

“So what did you think, Dirky?”

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be,” I admitted. 

“Fuck yeah! I’ll take it!” He giggled as the two of us stood up.

“Well John, thank you for everything. Surprisingly this has been a lot of fun!” I said, cracking a smile.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it! Anytime you want to come over, go for it. Mi casa es su casa.”

“Same here dude. I live alone so you can come by whenever you need.”

“The next tournament is next week if you wanna come.”

“I just might. Take it easy Egbert. And good luck with your roommate problem.”

“Thank you Dirk, it means a lot,” he smiled, opening the door for me. “Hey, can I get that hug now?”

“Sure why not,” I rolled my eyes, smiling, and he wrapped his arms around me. I felt my face go red as I hugged him back.

“See you later,” John smiled after letting go.

“See ya man,” I said as I went back inside my dorm. There are no words to describe how I felt that night, but what I do know is that my life will never be the same again. In probably more ways than one. I put my glasses on my bedside table as I laid down. It’s gonna be a long night, isn’t it.

-

“DID YOu RETRIEVE THE COMPuTER?”

“YeS, mY lOrD.”

“GOOD, IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME.”


	2. It's about time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is when the plot starts moving, so be ready for that. I'm so grateful for the support you all showed part one and I hope you like this one just as much. Hopefully part three won't take as long but no promises.

“Dirk! I didn’t think you would show up,” Roxy gasped, I rolled my eyes. They wore their classic heart shades, void hoodie, black shorts, and pink shoes combo.

“Lalonde, I’m not an English, I’m not gonna flake on our lunch plans,” I said, pulling up a chair. I wore a black shirt with an orange flannel over it. This was paired with jeans, black sneakers, and my infamous shades. We were situated right outside a small local restaurant known as ‘The Crockpot,’ a local joint with bomb ass sandwiches and god-like pastries. I sat down and picked up the menu.

“HA! That’s so true though. We were supposed to eat at Chilis to catch up and shit, but he flaked harder than Tony the tiger.”

“I can see you’ve been hanging out with Dave recently,” I joked. 

“Damn you caught me red-handed,” they giggled. “So what’s going on with you, man?”

“Eh, nothing much. I’ve just been studying and practicing my Lucina.”

“I swear, Egbert got you fucking hooked to that game,” Roxy chuckled.

“And you’re not?”

“Okay true but still, I just find it funny.”

“Say, how are things going on with your girl?”

“Oh, Jade? It’s going well! We just had our six month anniversary, about a week ago. We went on a road trip and just kinda spent it together. It’s just so nice to be around someone like her. She really fills the void,” Roxy held up their chin, resting their elbows on the table, as they looked off into the sky.

“A void player and a space player, who would have thought. I’m really happy for you, dude. I’ve said this before, but out of the four of us, you’re the one who deserves love the most.”

“Aww Dirky, that's so sweet,” they say, looking back to me. “Did you know she has a brother?” Roxy grinned, raising their eyebrows. I sighed.

“Roxy, as I’ve told you before, you don’t have to set me with anyone. I am perfectly fine by myself.” 

“Word on the street is that he is single and gay, just like youuuuu.”

“Just because another guy is also gay doesn’t mean I have to like him,” I groaned.

“Yeah yeah I know, but this isn’t just any guy, it’s John Egbert,” they whispered. I could feel my face fall red, as Roxy gasped. “I KNEW IT!”

“I don’t like him, genius. He’s just a goofy ass heir. He plays fucking Dr. Mario, how could you like a Dr. Mario main!” I started.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” they giggled.

“Haha, you’re so funny. HAHA. Clap it up for Roxy Lalonde everybody!”

“Har har. I’m just messing man. But you do deserve to be happy.”

“I don't deserve shit. I earn everything I do, I just don't get places because I deserve it. I had to fight for everything in my life!”

“So I do but you don’t? Dirk that doesn’t make sense.”

“Because you’re a good person with a pure heart, while I am heartless.”

“Dirk, you really gotta stop all this self-depreciation. We both know you have a heart. You’re a big softy, but you just try to act tough and cold.”

“If that is what you wanna think of me, then so be it,” I conceded, leaning back in my chair as the waiter strolled up to our table.

“Welcome to The Crockpot, hoo hoo! My name is Nannasprite 2, and I’ll be your waiter this afternoon. What would you two like to drink?”

“Uhh I’ll take the pink lemonade,” Roxy answered.

“Do y'all have coke?” I asked

“Sorry, only Pepsi. Hoo hoo,” the waiter chuckled.

“Well damn, then I guess I’ll take that then.” Nannasprite 2 nodded as a blue laser shot out of her eye, hitting the table. In the spots she attacked, our drinks appeared.

“What would you two like to eat?” She asked as we grabbed our drinks.

“I’ll take the meatball surprise,” Roxy ordered. The surprise is just more meatballs if you were wondering.

“Uh, I’ll take the grilled chicken salad,” I spoke.

“Hoo hoo! Excellent choices! It’ll be out in a pinch!” She says as she flies back inside.

“Why is her name Nanasprite 2? Does this mean there is a Nannasprite 1? Are there more Nanasprites?” I joked.

“The whole restaurant staff is probably just Nannasprites,” Roxy laughed.

“ ‘Morning Nanasprite 5!’ ‘Morning to you too, Nannasprite 7! Hoo hoo.”

“ ‘Hoo hoo, hello you too. I’m Nannasprite 14!’ “

“ ‘Hoo hoo Buster!’,” Roxy continued as the two of us burst into laughter. 

“Hoo hoo!” I said, chuckling. This only cracked them up even more. Suddenly a smirk appeared on their face as they looked into the distance. “Hey, Dirk?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m not sorry for this,” they laughed as they stood up. “HEY JOHN!” I looked over, and oh my god, there he was. He wore his black slimer shirt with an unzipped green hoodie over it and black jeans, his white sneakers, and a backpack around his shoulders. He looked over to Roxy with a smile, walking over to us as I slumped down in my chair.

“Oh hey Roxy!” He says, approaching the table with that big ol 'goofy grin of his. “Is that a Dirk Strider I see as well?”

“Yeah that's him all right,” Roxy giggled as they sat back down. 

“Is it really though? Who is to say I’m not here?” I snarked. Both John and Roxy rolled their eyes. 

“It’s nice to see you too, Strider,” John chuckled.

“So what brings you over here?” Roxy asked.

“Bro, you called my name. What did you expect?”

“I’m with him on this one,” I agreed.

“Yeah yeah of course you are,” they said as they rolled their eyes again. At this point, they would be a master bowler if they used their eyes. Nothing but strikes, no pin would stand a fucking chance. “I meant what brings you to this side of campus?”

“Uh I don’t really know, I was just walking, I guess,” he shrugged. 

“How convenient,” I joked.

“Yeah well, can I not walk aimlessly across school? I think we all paid for that right.”

“I mean yeah, but that doesn’t make it any less weird.”

“John, don’t just stand there, man. Pull up a chair!” Roxy laughed. John pulled a chair from a nearby table and sat down. 

“Are yall preparing for the next tournament? Terezi said that today she is gonna have a meeting with Principal Peixes to try to make an official Esports team here!”

“Uh I mean, my Greninja is always to fight,” Roxy answered confidently.

“My Lucina is ready too, although I have been practicing Joker recently,” I answered.

“Of course you would play Joker,” Roxy teased.

“Well unlike every other Joker main, I actually played Persona Five,” I rolled my eyes. 

“Doesn’t make it any less lame,” John replied.

“I mean yeah but still,” I sighed. “How about you John? Still practicing Dr. Mario?”

“Nah, I’ve switched focus to Wii fit.”

“Well at least that character is respectable,” I laughed. 

“Well you two, I’ll be right back, gotta go to the poopoo house. See ya,” they said standing up. They gave me a wink as they walked away. Fucking Lalondes. John and I sat there in silence for a bit. It lasted at least five minutes.

“Well uh, Dirk, have you seen Ghostbusters two yet?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“Egbert, I watched part one for the first time at your place. Do you really think I would watch part two on my own?”

“So you watched it, didn't you,” he folded his arms.

“Fuck okay, you caught me. Yes, I watched it, and it suckedddd.”

“What? Part two is great! Sure it isn’t no part one, but damn is it good.”

“John, you think Weekend at Bernie’s is good. You have no taste,” I joked.

“Well uh, fuck you too,” he laughed. 

“Wow, Egbert-” I started but before I could finish my sentence, a loud rumble went out throughout the campus. I looked over to John, as the cups fell over. He was holding onto his chair for dear life, with his eyes shut like a door. It hardly lasted ten seconds but it felt like an eternity. 

“Dirk! Are you okay?” he called. 

“Yeah I’m fine, I think. Damn, Roxy must have just dropped the biggest shit,” I laughed. That seemed to lighten the mood a bit as he started to giggle. 

“What do you think that was? An earthquake?”

“Maybe if we were on earth. In skaia, it could be anything. After all, there are like nothing but god tiers here.”

“Hoo Hoo that was a doozy. Here are your meals, where is the other one?” Nannasprite 2 asked as she flew up to us, putting the meals on the table with her eye laser. 

“Uh, they‘ll be right back. Can I get some to-go boxes?” I asked. 

“Sure thing honey! Hoo HOO” she said as two to-go boxes appeared on the table. She then flew back inside. 

“Well Dirk, I should get moving. I got some things to deal with at the dorm and other shit,” John said, standing up. 

“Sure thing, see ya dude,” I waved. 

“Dirk, I’m not leaving without a hug.”

“Oh my goodness. It’s always something with you huh,” I said, rolling my eyes. 

“Come on Dirk, I gotta go!” he urged. I sighed as I stood to my feet. He smiled brightly as he wrapped his arms around my back. My face fell a deep red as I returned the hug. So much for being heartless, I guess. After a few seconds, he let go, his face was just as bright red as mine.

“Well see ya man, don’t be a stranger! Hey, are you going to Roxy’s for thanksgiving? The whole gang is gonna be there!”

“Uh sure, I didn’t have any other plans,” I agreed.

“Great! See you there! Call me!” He smiled as he walked away. I sat back down when Roxy ran back to the table.

“So how did it go?” They grinned, sitting down. They put their elbows on the table and held up their head. 

“I hate you, Lalonde.”

-

The seer of mind made her way down the hall, grinning from ear to ear. She wore her infamous libra shirt and black pants. The sound of her cane clicking against the floor echoed throughout the halls. It wasn’t long until she reached the end of the hall. She felt around for the door handle, finding it quickly. After a small knock, she opened the door.

“M1SS P31X3S? 1T’S M3, T3R3Z1 PYROP3! 1’M H3R3 FOR OUR M33TING!” She said as she sniffed around the room. “H3LLO? 4NYON3 H3R3? 1’M BL1ND, 1 DON’T KNOW.” She continued to sniff around, not picking up a hint of fuchsia. She quickly found a chair and sat down, not realizing it to be the principal’s chair. She felt around the desk as she continued to smell around. 

“HUH, 1M4G1N3 SCH3DU11NG 4 M33TING 4ND NOT SHOW1NG UP,” She said as she grabbed a mug off the desk. This triggered a hidden door to open up behind her. She jumped at the sudden noise. “H311O?”

There was still nothing. She continued to investigate, finding a strange metal frame in the wall. ‘TH4TS W31RD, TH1S H3R3 34RL13R,’ she thought as she felt around, finding a small button. she pressed it as a strange whirring sound came from below. Before long, the frame opened up with a ‘Bing!’ With a big gulp, she made her way inside the room. The door closed shut behind her as the elevator descended. She could practically hear her own heartbeat. 

After what felt like ten minutes, the elevator opened up with another bing. She stepped out, trying to get whatever she could with her smell o vision. The room appeared to be a giant cylinder, as far down and up as the eye can see (or the nose could smell in this case), with a platform extending to the middle of the room. With all her courage, she made her way down the path and onto the platform. Her breathing was more unstable than my love life. 

In the middle of the platform sat a black and red cruxtruder, she knelt down trying to find the timer. There were approximately 840 hours left on the timer. A strong scent was coming from the walls, like some kind of lime jello. But it was suddenly interrupted by the smell of bubblegum, avocado, and the whirring sound of the elevator. Her pump biscuit started racing so hard that one may think it was Sonic the Hedgehog. She retracted her cane into her sylladex as she hid behind the cruxtruder. 

“as you can sea, everythin is goin smoothly, my lord,” came the first voice. Principal Peixes. 

“GOOD, ARE THE PORTALS WORKING?”

“they shore are, although we havent exactly got it down perfectly.”

“YOu THINK I CARE ABOuT THAT? LETS RuN THIS PuPPY.”

“lord, that aint a good idea. itll only cast more suspicion on us. thats the last thing we need.”

“IM SORRY,” growled the angry cherub. “DID I ASK FOR YOuR OPINION? DANCE MONKEY DANCE, WE ARE DOING A TRIAL RUN!”

“yes, my lord,” you could sense the disgust in her tone. She could just kill him right here if she wanted to, yet she knew that if she did, there was no stopping the plans he set in motion. Terezi continued to bite her tongue, praying that they didn’t hear her pump biscuit. At this point, the thing could power six cars at once. 

The principal walked over to the cruxtruder, clicking a few buttons on the front of it. It turns out that the lime jello scented walls weren’t jello. They were portals. Cherub portals. They lined the inside of the cylinder, completely. Green and red spirals appeared in each and everyone, as the chamber started to shake, violently. Terezi involuntarily screamed as she lost her balance, falling to the edge of the platform, hanging on the edge for dear life. 

“right on cue,” the principal smirked as she walked over to her. The only thing keeping Terezi up was her upper arm strength alone. And she didn’t have much to begin with. The principal walked over, raising her foot to step on her hands. “any last words, S-E-ER?”

“WAIT, NOT YET. SHE MAY BE OF uSE TO uS. THROW HER IN THE DERSE PRISON,” Caliborn ordered. With a sigh, the principal complied. She pulled Terezi up to the platform as the platform continued to shake. Without a second thought, Terezi pulled out her cane, unsheathing her swords, ready for battle. 

“1M NOT GO1NG TO B3 4NYON3S FUCK1NG PR1SON3R,” she yelled. She ran towards the principal, jumping at her. While in any other circumstances Terezi would have won that fight, the principal has the powers of every single troll blood. Involuntarily, Terezi dropped her swords, as they fell into the abyss below, and she fell to the ground. 

“I WAS GOING TO SPARE YOu, YOu BRAT. YOu KNOW WHAT? FuCk YOu AND FuCK THIS STuPID BABY ASS TIMELINE,” Caliborn yelled, giving the principal the go-ahead. The principal nodded as she summoned her trident. After seeing every other possible timeline of events, Terezi sighed, accepting her fate. She summoned a small tracker and kept it in the palm of her hands. One that not only records tracks but it also records. After clicking a button she yells into it. 

“COD3 R3D! 1 R3P34T, COD3 R3D! UND3R TH3 PR1NC1P4L’S OFF1C3. JOHN, D1RK, ROXY, SOLLUX, ROS3, VR1SKA-“ but her message was cut short by a trident embedding itself in her body. With her final acts, she threw the tracker at the principal, one to herself, and another to the edge of a portal. She stumbled back. “FUCK YOU,” she screamed as she fell backward, into the never-ending abyss. 

“waste of a P-ERF-ECTLY good trident,” the principal sneered. 

“IVE SEEN ENOuGH. TuRN IT OFF. GET THE CLOWN TO HuNT DOWN THOSE SHE LISTED AND TRACK THAT MESSAGE,” Caliborn demanded as he walked back into the elevator with a shit-eating grin. He folded his arms as the doors closed in front of him.


End file.
